Heart vs Brain

"I decided to forgive and forget.. But why does my heart hurts?"

"I decided to stop liking him.. But why do I keep thinking of him?"

Emotion.. is not something we can control with our brain
No matter how many times you ask your heart..
 to stop feeling a certain way
 or to just keep calm
It just won't listen..

In fact, our heart is like a rebellious teenager
As you ask them to listen..
They'll do otherwise..
They'll cause you so much pain
They'll cause you so much distressed
Until in the end, your 'brain' have to give in

Emotion.. is not something you can rationalize
It acts on its own
You can't meddle in with it's business
Persuasion won't work against it
And don't even think of compromising..

Although, it is blind and deaf..
It makes you realize something
What your true desire is..
What your life experience had taught you..
And what makes you, just YOU!

Thus, believe in your heart..
It may waver at times
It may cause pain at times
But over time, it will mature up and become stronger

Insha Allah.. =)

Go Dok Mi's Diary

Taken from K-drama 'Flower Boys Next Door'. I love you, Park Shin Hye unnie! Fighting!!!

Episode 1: 'I steal peeks at him everyday'

How timid and delicate unrequited love is?
Even though unrequited love finds its own way in..
It's a love that gets trapped inside..
Unable to find an exit.

Even though I'm the one who started it
Without knowing a thing..
If he leaves my sight one day..
It's a love that ends vain without it ever having a purpose
Never even having had the chance to bud or bloom any flower
A love that can never bear fruit.. like a seed left forgotten..
That is.. UNREQUITED LOVE

Episode 2: 'Leave me alone.. Please!'

That woman's mouth is like a broken faucet in a mountain village
Not a single drop comes out when it's needed..
But it's like a faulty faucet that only works in the silence of a night
All the words that she wasn't able to say at that moment..
Comes pouring out after the moment passes
"Next time, I'll make sure to respond like this"
"This is how I'm going to retort to the comments"
This.. she always vows to herself
That woman.. always speaks the most impressive lines when she's alone in her room

Episode 3: 'First love is painful and unrequited love is heartbreaking'

People who thinks that happiness is something that's always within their reaches..
I wonder how happy they must really be?
That woman.. always gets nervous when she finds herself to be too happy
To that woman.. happiness is like blow bubbles we used to play when we were little
The moment she touches the bubbles carrying the lights of rainbow around her..
They burst!

Episode 4: 'Are there no such things as white lies or kind lies?'

"What is your truth? Tell me honestly."
Whenever someone asks her that, she would always keep her mouth shut
Truth is something that appears like sweet piece of candy or chocolate
When it's outer wrapping is peeled off..
Just like skin is needed to protect the blood and flesh underneath
A lie was needed in order to protect the truth
Rather than to remain honest and reveal all her wounds
Pasting a bright smile on her face and lying..
Felt safer for her

Episode 5: 'I'll make up a thousand excuses just to run into you by chance!'

Whenever she steps out into the world, that woman often becomes an invisible being
She gets shoved around and stepped on
And when she gets mixed amongst the crowd..
I don't think she's visible to other people
That's why that woman hides in her room
Her small room feels cozy to her, like a cage feels cozy to a bird with broken wing
And in that room, she can breathe freely
She never dreamed of the world outside or missed the world out there
At least, until now..

Episode 6: 'The key term for meetings are 'Fated' and 'Ill-fated''

That woman believes fate is a string..
That quietly connects her heart to another
Following that invisible string to feel even the slightest vibration is what connects people..
To feel and understand each other
When one person's heart suddenly gets mixed with so many other hearts..
It starts to make that woman's heart feel uneasy
So, fate..
Please stop tugging so hard at my heart to pull me in

Episode 7: 'Pride and prejudice and misunderstanding'

That woman's scars are like.. sinking underwater
Spectators, who don't know how deep that scar is..
Simply advise her why she can't escape from it
There are too many people who are rude to other's scars
That woman didn't want to hear such empty words
At least not from this one person..

Episode 8: 'There is a dangerous tunnel area waiting in front of you'

To someone, love may be like a medal or like a trophy
The result of victory
And to someone, love is endlessly waiting for their loved ones
A truthful and sincere course
To that woman, love is a secret that she, herself, may not find out about.

Episode 9: 'I love you as much as I know you.. I know you as much as I love you..'

After the person whom she suspected would only be a casual acquaintance left..
Sometimes she still has feelings left behind
Only after he left, she realized the depth and weight of the relationship
That woman believes that repeating the belated regrets is how the life goes.

Episode 10: 'If you know about your enemy, see things from his eyes, not yours'

That woman's door had not opened for a long time.
In front of her dusty door, there were 2-3 invitation cards.
He who came as a fresh breeze..
He who is like a shield that blocks stormy wind..
She is afraid of her desire to open the door for the first time

Episode 11: 'Can I go back to being the old me?'

As humans are not factory-made machines and toys,
We are special and complicated
What our purposes in lives are..
What our hearts desire..
And even the weak spots..
We are unique and have different qualities.
You can only tell by looking at them for a long time.
So, that woman doesn't believe in fated love
She didn't believe in it..

Episode 12: 'The wind is blowing.. I like you..'

The sunflower looking up to the sun and smiling becomes a small sun
On top of the seashells that play with water all day..
You see sweet wave marks
Those who are dear to each other become like each other
That woman is finally starting to understand a bit

Episode 13: 'Should I dream a new dream?'

The wind and waves are breaking down the sand castle
That man can love the wind and the sea
That man says that the sand castle didn't break down
    but it got infused
That man knows the method of healing

Ep 14: 'Your feeling for me are like a shower.. It will pass by'

How many meanings could the word 'sorry' have?
Sadness and wounds..
Misunderstanding and reflection..
Regret and reconciliation..
There are countless of emotions inside
He believes that you cannot express your feelings with just a word
"Will you come to Spain with me?"
He was speaking love to me..

Ep 15: 'Love sometimes seeks a further path'

I try to copy his smile
I try to see the world in his eyes
I try to think from his heart
To him, love is..
    to see the world deeply from two people's heart

Ep 16: 'Love your neighbor'

Enrique:
Love is when you give half of yourself
And in that space, fill it with half of the other person
That woman, the half that she wanted to give
   was dark and shy, so she pushed love away
That love is when two halves that were lacking join
   and become a whole
That woman has finally realized

Go Dok Mi:
Love is a wind-up clock
When it is new, it lets you know the exact time
As time passes and you forget to wind it up..
The clock breaks and stops working
That man, in order to keep the clock going
Even when time has passed, has started to wind it.

Review: Queen In Hyun's Man

I started watching this drama after I found out that the two main characters ended up dating!
I thought it would have a real feeling to it. Besides, the actor confessed publicly to the actress until it became headlines.

Summary:
The story is about a scholar from Joseon Dynasty named Kim Bung Do, who would travel through time every time he is in danger (i.e. he can escape death) after he received a talisman from a Gisaeng named Yoon Wol. Whenever he travel through time, he would end up meeting an  amateur actress named Choi Hui Jin. Kim Bung Do was perplexed at first but discover that it all happens because of the talisman. He also found out that he could go back to Joseon Dynasty by reciting the letter written on the talisman. Choi Hui Jin and Kim Bung Do started developing feeling for each other but there's a lot of obstacles ahead of them.

Personal review:
So, the story went quite fast and has a bit too much of conflicts, in my opinion..
Firstly, I was surprised that Choi Hui Jin (played by Yoo In Na) already kissed Kim Bung Do (played by Ji Hyun Woo) after only meeting him for a few times. Seriously she has a very impulsive manner. Good thing that the guy didn't mind and started to have feeling for her too. I guess it's just a wonderful fantasy that everyone wish for.. that is to have mutual affection towards someone we like. Oh.. well.. I'll be more lenient about it since it's just a fictional drama..

Then, there's also a lot of twist and turn to the drama. The talisman, which helped Kim Bung Do (KBD) to travel through time, suddenly was ripped and stolen. This caused KBD to lose memory along with everyone around Choi Hui Jin. After that, the talisman also has caused some rumors to emerged. It almost cause the death of the real Queen and KBD himself. I cried when CHJ thought KBD was really dead as she found out from the annals. Yoo In Na cried realistically! It was so heart-breaking to see her like that.. T_T Just imagine when you love someone so dearly, and suddenly you heard him died far far away from you that you couldn't even have a look at his dead body. Sob.. sob.. T_T

It was also sad to find out that Yoon Wol and the Master Buddha had died.. So the talisman had no use.. He couldn't even explain anything to her! He just disappeared without his own accord.. And CHJ was waiting and always anxiously waiting for him to come back.. It's so sad to see them separated like that.. T_T

So, in the end, with a heavy heart, KBD burned the talisman after writing a love letter to CHJ. CHJ has no memory whatsoever after that. But she started to feel something weird after she saw the love letter that has become an artifact now. Somehow she feel connected to KBD. The ridiculous thing is, she called KBD's phone after she started to remember those memories, and KBD's phone did ring! Even though he is 300 years apart from CHJ! Haha.. Ridiculous but I'll look pass this..

Of course there are a lot of cute, envious scenes too.. Actually I love all their kiss scenes!!! Keke~~ It's so romantic! And moreover, Ji Hyun Woo is defenitely my type of guy! =P He's probably not that very good-looking (for some people, i guess) but his smile is just so charming.. It makes my heart melts~~ Plus, I like tall guys.. Keke~~ I truly feel that they are actually really kissing.. Especially after I knew that they had feeling for each other while filming this drama.. Ji Hyun Woo seems like a really mature guy in real life, which is why I love him more..

Anyway, congratulation to Yoo In Na unnie and Ji Hyun Woo oppa!!!! Hope both of you have a really long and blissful life together!!!